God is changing me: Hallelujah!
I'm not the man I used to be: Hallelujah!
I'll never be him again: Hallelujah!
That man is dead; he's buried through baptism of repentance: Hallelujah!
Hallelujah is defined most commonly as a shout of joy, praise, or gratitude. Sometimes Hallelujah is the position I often take as I walk out the process of surviving life to fully living life. Sometimes, I let my humanness interfere with the victory of my soul, the purchase of my heart by my Lord Jesus Christ! Sometimes Hallelujah, the blog, will reflect my walk on earth as a Saint, called by Christ. I am indeed a saint (a repentant sinner, called by Jesus) and I'm living life in my new identity more and more each day, but sometimes...I hit a speed bump and fall.
When I was in High School, I participated in Speech and Debate. I wasn't too bad either, even then I enjoyed speaking! I remember one tournament very clearly. I had a great case and loved my affirmative position. I didn't win....the tournament was swept by a school from Pflugerville TX. What an odd name Pflugerville (later, as I got older…I wondered where Pflugerville was, it’s near Austin.) Defeated, we headed to our bus...as we walked through the parking lot, a painful reminder of our defeat was directly in front of us, a billboard of sorts, in the shape of a yellow bus that might as well had said "You suck!" There was a message in front of us, but it wasn't on a billboard and it didn't say "You suck" it said PFLUGERVILLE IS #1, largely written in shoe polish letters on the windows of a bus! Suddenly we heard this shout of terror..."Wait!" Then a flash of a girl from Pflugerville sped by in a teenage business suit, briefcase included. Her bus was leaving without her and she was trying to get the attention of someone in the bus instead she had our full attention as she quickly fled by. Recognizing us, she turned back and yelled "Great match!" That's when it happened...some would call it victory, some would call it vengeance...for us teenage boys....we called it funny. She hit a speed bump...literally. It instantly brought her to the pavement.
Ummmm..........remember, I was young and not the mature, respectable man I am today.
Oh my gosh it was the funniest thing I had ever seen. We laughed so hard. Have you ever seen a human hit a speed bump and fall? No, I’m sure you haven’t…so trust me…It’s funny! Wow...the image is so clear in my mind...in fact...this mature, respectable man is laughing as he types this! Awesome!
Sometimes Hallelujah will be a blog about victories, struggles, and the process between the two! Today, I’m a lot like the girl from Pflugerville. As a young girl she displayed wisdom far beyond her years…in fact it’s wisdom I don’t think I have fully grasped, but a philosophy I’ve adopted for my life: Hold on to what’s important. When she hit that speed bump, she never let go of her briefcase. Her drink, trophy, and purse all hit the ground…looking back at that beautiful mess…I see she held on to what was important to her-her winning speech! I’m learning to focus on what’s important to me…what a process.
Often, when my day is crazy and I’ve been pulled by life’s tentacles…I walk through the Oklahoma City Memorial.
A good friend once told me “That crisis is a great editor.” When I walk through the memorial, I focus on what’s important, I‘m reminded not to take life for granted and that every moment counts. I’m reminded of loss and change, sadness and hope, time and reflection, time for reflection…Hallelujah!
Sometimes Hallelujah will be a scrapbook of great moments and not so great moments…it will be the journey of my life…some of the sinner and some of the saint! It will be lyrical and vulnerable. It will be my words on a page…it will be pages of my life. Hallelujah!
James Avery Tucker
posted courtsy of free wifi at Panera Bread, Midwest City, OK
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