A Song From My iPod

This is the cry of my soul!

I Am Nothing

I am nothing without You
Only a fly upon the wall
Listening in, hoping to find something about You
That will keep me from this fall

And sometimes I catch a glimpse
And my heart begins to beat
Day by day awaken me
You put the wind beneath my feet

I long for the water
That brings life to me
'cause I long for the truth, oh
That sets man free

I am nothing without You
Only the dirt beneath Your nails
My heart is bruised and it's broken
And my soul is very frail

Please give me a reason
I need to name this man
And no longer this broken treason
Only on You I will stand

I long for the water
That brings life to me
'cause I long for the truth, oh
That sets man free

Please mend these broken wings
And take the scales from my eyes
Without You I am nothing
I will not survive x2

I long for the water
That brings life to me
'cause I long for the truth, oh
That sets man free

lyrics by Shawn McDonald

I want more. I want more than just being a Dad, a speaker, or a writer. I want to be Hidden in HIM-YOU. I want to be so deep in relationship with Christ that who I am CHANGES! This song represents the cry of my soul, the ache in my bones, the desire to die so that I can truly live!

Am I really this scared man, who chooses this life instead of TRUSTING? I am…that’s who I am. I fumble in the darkness. I run from God. I don’t even trust when the safety net is securely in place. Surrender-raid my heart. I want treason. I want to no longer be loyal to the things I always choose: the life I trust. I want to be stripped of all my layers…I want to be seen and not hidden. Not in front of man, but in front of HIM-YOU GOD. God I want the rain. Holy rain. Your rain. “I long for the water that brings life to me. Cause I long for the truth, that sets man free!” I want freedom.

My cell looks different today, but I’m still jailed. Unable to completely trust Him. Okay-unable to really trust at all. Why God…why…I so desperately want to run in FIELDS OF TRUST with YOU. That isn’t true. I’m lying.

What I want is assurance that I’ll be okay. That I’ll be happy and satisfied. That my life will include what I love and have the AMERICAN DREAM neatly tucked inside for my enjoyment. I don’t trust you, because sometimes the life of JOB happens. Sometimes You allow the locusts to come…and I don’t want that. I don’t want public humiliation or financial ruin. I don’t want separation from my son or a training job. I want to speak and write…USE THE TALENT YOU GAVE ME, but will I ever trust YOU to do it? Will I ever trust the darkness again? Will I ever trust what I can’t see? Will I ever step from the safety of the lie…from what I know? Heart treason would be good.

I want to walk on the water…not the still calm waters, but the raging sea…I want to have the faith to get out of the boat and walk on the water…raging seas. When I’m scared…I want to know you have my back…you will protect me! I want to know it in a way that produces change. That changes me…that changes this crazy heart.

I AM NOTHING, ransom me...again and again and again.

Written by JAMES AVERY TUCKER
Sponsored by Sometimes Hallelujah...one of those days!

PS-His blood was/is enough...it's just been a long week!